Loss and Grief
How do you move past something that you wanted? How do you move on past the grief of loss?
And I am not talking about material items like cars, property, or a business or financial move. Those things are easily replicated and there are legitimate options everywhere you look.
(And, actually, to be honest, if you ever had your eye on something business-y or lucrative, it is likely that you just *have an eye for that* and therefore you WILL find more.)
No, I mean something that your soul — for lack of a better word — ached for. Maybe you had *it* and it’s now lost. Maybe *it* was never meant to be and that pesky thing called Hope got you all worked up. Maybe *it* is a fairytale and you find yourself disillusioned.
When you lose something irreplaceable — a person, a dream, a concept, an era — the loss remains like a scar.
How do you accept that you will wake the rest of your days without *it*? How do you just flip and move onto something else?
Over time, we adjust in our grief. We compensate rather than “get over”. It doesn't just go away. It changes; becomes less consuming.
If we convince ourselves that we have found better, we can look back and chuckle… think about how silly we were and reinforce clichés about things being meant to be…
In the meantime, we focus on maintaining a smile while looking for the next best thing.
And maybe not share that grief with anyone after a while… because eventually, your loss is yesterday’s news to others — regardless of how fresh it feels to you.
Somethings must be felt alone.
“You will lose someone or something you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly — that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott