For those that choose to stay inauthentically coupled, passive neglect becomes the modality of choice. You choose to be elsewhere during your free time. Your ‘work life’ becomes your acceptable escape, so you spend too much time working. You self-medicate or “over-chore” when you are at home to create a safe space for yourself to live in the lie. You focus on the kids’ activities or always have the kids with you to avoid focused, alone time with your partner. You go to bed significantly earlier or later than your partner to avoid intimacy and you cultivate an environment of constant subconscious distance or even subconscious dystane in your home. You live separate lives — together.
So accurate. This form of existence is seen as Pushing Through. The years already invested- a sunk cost fallacy- make the married couple think they are fighting the good fight. In reality, they are keeping their comfortable lifestyle by trading genuine connection.